August 4, 2016
WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU DID SOMETHING THAT SCARED YOU?
While watching this video, that question resonated with me. I couldn’t remember the last time I did something that scared me. I’m a nearly 40 year old mother of 2. Look up domestication in the dictionary and you’ll likely find a picture of me. I’m sure, by most standards, I’m definitely not the average soccer mom. I work for outdoor adventure company and have since the 90’s. I raft, camp and take part in all kinds of outdoor activities. But when I watched this video and read this question I realized I don’t do anything that scares me anymore. I came to the realization I choose to do the same adventures over and over – the ones I know. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy myself immensely anytime I’m floating down a river or doing anything outdoors but, by definition, it isn’t necessarily an adventure:
verb: To engage in hazardous and exciting activity, especially the exploration of unknown territory.
I think the reason this question struck me so deeply was because I didn’t used to be this person. I used to be Brandi – the fearless girl who lived in a 1 room shack in the mountains and made every day an adventure. Now I’m just Mom. A sock finder, taxi service and coupon clipping portrait of domestication. However, with this realization I decided to hop on the freaking Summer Gauley. And on this day I was Brandi again.
The Summer Gauley.
I hadn’t rafted the Summer Gauley in years. I raft the New River all the time, so why not the Gauley? That’s because it is the true definition of adventure. Everything is unknown until the morning of your trip. You don’t know how much water is being released from the dam until that morning, what exact section you’re going to take or even what size craft you need. In my “mom” head, after all those years not rafting it, it had become this mythical creature in my mind, the thing nearly all mom’s fear = the unknown. But what I so easily forgot is the feeling that comes with taming the beast. When the adventure is complete and your adrenaline fueled body realizes you did it, you kicked it’s arse.
I walked off the river that day with a feeling I hadn’t had in over a decade. I was a superhero. I was Brandi again and I was on top of the world. I could do anything. And that feeling hasn’t gone away. Every mom needs a little time to herself, to remember who she once was. But more importantly to remind herself she’s still the same person even if she doesn’t take as many risks as she once did.
Everything you want is on the other side of fear…so when’s the last time you did something that scared you?